Nobody teaches us how to deal with our emotions. There is no handbook. There is no class in school. Wait, we do get taught about emotions. Our family of origin, the family that we grew up in, teaches us everything we know about emotions. How to stuff them. How to verbalize them or sweep them under the rug. If emotions are acceptable in our household, we feel safe to voice those. If they are not acceptable, we are taught to “dry it up” or “I will give you something to cry about.” They are not overtly taught, but we learn, none the less, by watching and observing as we grow up how to act when we feel emotions.

Our emotions are warning signs from our body’s nervous system. We are presented with a trigger or situation that alerts us. We then think and feel so many things within the first few seconds of being introduced to that trigger. Fight, flight, or freeze is very familiar terminology because of social media, but who teaches us how to handle it when we are triggered? Not our schools! Not our churches! Not even our families really; at least not usually in a healthy way.

Most families handle emotions in two different extreme ways. Either emotions are unacceptable and should not be spoken about or displayed. Or emotions are very acceptable and they are very loud and violent sometimes. We must learn to stop this roller coaster for ourselves and the relationships we are in. We must learn to name our emotions to have a good emotion vocabulary. We must be mindful to what’s going on with us when emotions happen. We must also learn healthy ways to deal with these emotions.

Being mindful when we get angry or sad, have anxiety or feel embarrassed, will help us to slow this process down. There are so many tips and tricks to help us do just that. Box breathing. Using your 5 senses to ground you. Counting. And, many many more. Don’t get stuck on an emotional rollercoaster. Learn how to be mindful for your own mental health and those around you. Remember, you are modeling for your children, grandchildren, and friends how to handle emotions. Don’t you want to do that in a healthy way?